How to Help Your Child With School Anxiety

School related anxiety affects many pupils. In fact, a UK survey found that almost 30% of secondary school children avoided class because it made them anxious. Children can feel school anxiety for many reasons, worries about fitting in, confusing lessons or exam pressure, as well as a host of outside issues that can make school feel overwhelming.

The good news is that with understanding and the right support, parents can help their child overcome school anxiety. So, let’s dive in to how to recognise anxiety, practical steps parents can take, and ways to build confidence along the way.

Recognising Signs of School Anxiety

An anxious child may not always say they’re worried, so look out for clues. Common signs include saying they “can’t” go to school or repeatedly feeling unwell in the mornings. There are typical indicators like complaints of stomach aches or headaches, trouble sleeping, avoiding getting ready, or even a marked drop in grades. They might also seem withdrawn, unusually irritable, or just very quiet. These signals, especially if they persist, often mean that a child is feeling stress or fear about school.

It’s important to take such signs seriously. Listen attentively if your child is upset, and gently ask what’s worrying them. Don’t dismiss their fears as “silly”. Instead, validate their feelings. For example, as Barnardo’s advises, say something like “I can see that if you thought that might happen, it would feel really scary”. This shows you understand and accept their feelings, which can make them feel safer talking to you.

Supporting Your Child at Home

At home, simple supportive steps can make a big difference. Children thrive on routine, so having consistent meal times, homework slots and bedtimes provides stability. A regular schedule gives children a sense of security and predictability. Encourage healthy habits too, ensure they get enough sleep, nutritious meals and daily exercise. All these factors are closely linked to how well a child copes with stress. Even light exercise or play each day can boost their mood and confidence.

It’s also useful to teach simple coping strategies. Breathing exercises, mindfulness or positive self-talk can help a child manage nerves. Skills like deep breathing and encouraging words can be tools children use when they feel anxious. You might practice breathing together, slowly inhale for four seconds, hold, then exhale. Likewise, praise and encourage them to focus on what they have achieved rather than dooming themselves to worst-case scenarios.

Talking and Communicating

Keep lines of communication open. Ask your child gentle questions about what’s worrying them “What’s the part of school you don’t like today?” and listen without interrupting. Avoid forcing them to go to school on a bad day without talking first; instead work together to unpack the fear. If they can identify a specific worry (fear of a test, or trouble with a peer), you can problem-solve.

Stay positive about school when you talk, while also acknowledging their feelings. If your child is very reluctant, consider involving the school early. Many schools have support systems: a chat with a teacher, Year coordinator or school counsellor may lead to simple adjustments (like arriving a few minutes early or using a quieter route) that ease the day.

Tutoring and Academic Support

One key way to reduce school anxiety is to build confidence in learning, and tutoring can play a powerful role. At Kip McGrath our tutors see that small difficulties in class can snowball into stress if unaddressed. Small group tutoring lets each child receive personalised help while still interacting with peers. This style of tutoring can make a huge difference in your child’s confidence and academic progress whether they have fallen behind or just need reinforcement.

In practice, a good tutoring session is a safe space: children learn at their own pace and are encouraged to ask any question without fear. Tutors tailor their teaching to each child’s needs and use fun, engaging methods. This supportive setting often means that a student who was anxious about a subject starts to feel more comfortable and confident in it. Over time this confidence in the subject carries back into school, making lessons feel less daunting.

There is real evidence behind these outcomes. For example, a Stanford University study found that maths tutoring not only improved children’s arithmetic but actually reduced their math anxiety. Functional brain scans showed that after tutoring, areas related to fear and stress were no longer over-active in anxious students. As the researchers put it, “cognitive tutoring not only improves performance, but is also anxiety-reducing”. In other words, helping a child master tough topics can literally calm their fear response.

Even when anxiety is linked to schoolwork rather than exams, tutoring helps. Academic pressure can be overwhelming, leading to stress and anxiety, whereas small group tutoring provides a supportive environment that allows students the ability to ask questions without fear of judgment, reducing stress and making learning a more positive experience. Tutors can also coach children in study techniques, for instance, breaking work into bite-size tasks and giving timely praise, which makes revision less scary. When exam season comes, our tutoring programmes explicitly teach exam strategy so they approach tests feeling prepared and calm.

In short, tutoring provides practical support that boosts learning and confidence, both of which go a long way toward easing a child’s worries about school.

Next Steps

Dealing with school anxiety takes patience, but you are not alone. Many parents face this, and there are resources to help. Most importantly, remember that anxiety is not a permanent roadblock. With your support, understanding their feelings, building routines, teaching coping skills, and, if needed, getting help from a tutor, your child can regain confidence. Helping your child build foundational skills and giving them a positive learning environment will boost their confidence at school. 

If you feel tutoring might help, Kip McGrath centres offer a free assessment to identify any learning gaps and start a tailored tutoring programme. So book a free assessment to begin on the road to solving your child’s school anxiety. With time Anxiety can be overcome, and with time your child will go back to school feeling confident and prepared.